Who Am I?

Matt 6:33 but seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

I believe names are gifts we entrust to our children. My mom has a name book which not only had a meaning but had a scripture to go with the names. The scripture that was paired with my name is the one I wrote above. At first I didn't much care for the scripture. It seemed so obvious to a lifer Christian. Of course you seek the kingdom first... right? Well lets just say after quite a few wake up calls to how difficult that is I gave up my pride and went to god for help. I was struggling with life, with my purpose, and everything in-between. Im sure you can guess what God said to me, but I'll tell you anyways. He told me to seek him first, to stop seeking tasks, purposes, and rewards. To stop looking everywhere but to him, because I had become so accustom to his presence in my life I started to overlook it's influence. I would bypass the steps and rush foreword usually falling flat on my face. So now I make it a point to start my day seeking the kingdom and its direction. Whenever I start to lose my way God finds a way to bring up my namesake's verse and I am reminded what I must do before everything else.

Mark 1:10,11 Just as Jesus was coming up out of the water, he saw heaven being torn open and the spirit descending on him like a dove. And a voice came from heaven: "You are my Son(Daughter), whom I love; with you I am well pleased."

Nothing is harder than failing. I fall and stumble all the time in my walk. If fear of failure over takes me or shame, or self loathing. I go to the scripture above. I am a Daughter to the most high. He loves me, and I please him. Who I am, is pleasing to my God. Nothing is more freeing  or inspiring to me. My identity is rooted in that scripture.

Hebrews 4:15 For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefor let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

This last scripture is what saved me from the deepest darkest pits I have fallen into. Even when I failed my god still loved me, and I still pleased him, but I still felt like a failure when I struggled. Why couldn't I just overcome something leave it behind and never revisit it? Why would temptation rear it's ugly head at me even when I am pleasing to my God. I didn't understand and I would chastise myself constantly. Then that scripture came to me and it all made sense. I was treating temptation like sin. I would resist and wouldn't give into sin but the enemy tricked me into thinking that being tempted was a sin as well. I shied away from God and denied myself my namesake, and the grace of my birthright. To know that Jesus struggled as I struggle gave me the confidence to walk back into my father's pretences. To seek the kingdom first and allow myself the love of God again.

Whenever I feel lost, don't know who I am, or have been overcome with shame I reread these three scriptures. They embody my direction, my goals, and my identity. They save me and remind me of my inheritance.

God Bless
Amy